Tony Hayward, the CEO of British Petroleum, who refuses to actually try to solve the problems in the Gulf of Mexico, has said he wants his life back.
You have all heard it, my gentle snowflakes. It was replayed and replayed and replayed. It was a stupid, stupid comment.
But I have a way in which he can have his life back:
- Send a couple of authorized/official-ized, armed, big, ole' Louisiana shrimpers to pick Hayward up, take him to the coast where the oil is coming ashore the worst. The "good ole boys" will stay with him at all times--there will be plenty of volunteers.
- Set Hayward to scoop the muck from the beach into a bucket, carry the bucket several hundred yards to dump it in a barrel. Again and again and again.
- Hayward will work without protective gear or breathing apparatus. Hour after hour. Day after Day.
- He must sleep in a pup tent.
- His food will be provided: whatever is being served to the prisoners in the nearest prison/jail. (I wanted to say he could eat what ever seafood he could pull from the Gulf, but that, apparently, is too much even for me.)
- He may shower once each week--OK, twice a week.
Oh, and he has to stay at it until ALL the oil from ALL the beaches is cleared and the Gulf waters have been cleaned. He doesn't have to clear/clean it all himself--others are working on it and they will continue. But he must keep at his Sisyphean labor until the beaches are clean, the marshes are clean, the water is as clean as it can be.
Then, as he requested, he can have his life back.
As for now, he is going to cut and run. Coward that he is. This way out is way, way, way too easy for him.
I like my ideas better.