Well, This Certainly Explains Things.....

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Spoiler: This was plucked from an email.

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude, spotted a man in a boat below and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,436 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a liberal Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me may be technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," she replied, "but how did you know?"

"Well," the man said, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. You're in exactly the same position you were before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault.

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